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ao3 wrapped 2021
saw an ask meme like this floating around twitter a while back, shelved the thought aside for later, doing it Right Now or i'll forget about it before the year ends T__T i worry this borders on self-obsessed but what is dw for if not rambling right
YEAR IN REVIEW
number of fics: 6 (technicallly 7, but 6 posted)
ao3 word count: 22.3k
fandoms: svt (4), nct (2)
fics:
you've got me seeing stars / nct / jaewin / february / for little wonder fest round 4
come and go / nct / markhyuck / march / for little wonder fest round 5
let my love remain / svt / junhao / june
take what we love inside / svt / verkwan / july / for hot boy summer zine (unpublished)
THE BRIDGES WE BURNED IN YOUTHFUL SLEEP / svt / wonhan / august / for director's cut fest round 2
lights out / svt / seokgyu / september / for svt rarepair fest round 2.5
all i'm asking for / svt / jihan / december / for starry secret santa
...and i've just written a minwon (in your wake) but i'll save that for 17hols round up post i think.
FAVOURITES
favourite fic i wrote: ok this honour goes to BRIDGES.....i genuinely do not know what i was on when i wrote that. it's really rare for me to read my own writing back and go "oh hey this is actually good" but i had that moment when rereading BRIDGES and i was like Wow this is pretty neat!!! i think the atmosphere i captured in the fic is one i've always wanted to capture (the slightly surreal/suburban dream etc) and for my first crack at ambiguous rship dynamics (previously all i'd written was just straightforward 2 parties who love e/o) i think it's not bad!! AND trc was a major influence on my writing when i was younger so it was like paying homage to it. i had scraps but i fleshed the whole thing out the day of the deadline and it turned out how i envisioned it so i'm so happy with it... :") [thumbs up emoji.] runner up is probably lights out!
favourite ship i wrote: my fav ship is often different from my fav ship To Write. this year it's wonhan bc aurghh i just think the dynamic is sooo compelling to write about....it's insane. for nct my #1 ship is mahae but i really really liked writing jaewin! ugh how are 97z from literally every group so potent.
favourite pov: see if you asked me a while ago i would've said minghao (and he's still up there bc he's such a comfortable pov for me to write) but right now i think it's wonwoo. the repression makes him such a good pov character
favourite title: THE BRIDGES WE BURNED IN YOUTHFUL SLEEP. hands down!!! this isn't even from anywhere it's actually the title of a poem i wrote last year (about a guy i was really into and then we just sort of mutually drifted apart bc both our lives got too busy. rip. but the poem was titled like that because once we went out cycling really late at night and i had a Young And Alive moment.) but what i really like about it is that it ended up surprisingly relevant to the fic as well....jww burning his bridge to yjh by creating kmg (in sleep! hehe.) besides that i also like let my love remain bc it's from the chinese version of home (留下来我的爱 which i loosely translated to let my love remain.)
YEAR IN REVIEW
number of fics: 6 (technicallly 7, but 6 posted)
ao3 word count: 22.3k
fandoms: svt (4), nct (2)
fics:
you've got me seeing stars / nct / jaewin / february / for little wonder fest round 4
come and go / nct / markhyuck / march / for little wonder fest round 5
let my love remain / svt / junhao / june
take what we love inside / svt / verkwan / july / for hot boy summer zine (unpublished)
THE BRIDGES WE BURNED IN YOUTHFUL SLEEP / svt / wonhan / august / for director's cut fest round 2
lights out / svt / seokgyu / september / for svt rarepair fest round 2.5
all i'm asking for / svt / jihan / december / for starry secret santa
...and i've just written a minwon (in your wake) but i'll save that for 17hols round up post i think.
FAVOURITES
favourite fic i wrote: ok this honour goes to BRIDGES.....i genuinely do not know what i was on when i wrote that. it's really rare for me to read my own writing back and go "oh hey this is actually good" but i had that moment when rereading BRIDGES and i was like Wow this is pretty neat!!! i think the atmosphere i captured in the fic is one i've always wanted to capture (the slightly surreal/suburban dream etc) and for my first crack at ambiguous rship dynamics (previously all i'd written was just straightforward 2 parties who love e/o) i think it's not bad!! AND trc was a major influence on my writing when i was younger so it was like paying homage to it. i had scraps but i fleshed the whole thing out the day of the deadline and it turned out how i envisioned it so i'm so happy with it... :") [thumbs up emoji.] runner up is probably lights out!
favourite ship i wrote: my fav ship is often different from my fav ship To Write. this year it's wonhan bc aurghh i just think the dynamic is sooo compelling to write about....it's insane. for nct my #1 ship is mahae but i really really liked writing jaewin! ugh how are 97z from literally every group so potent.
favourite pov: see if you asked me a while ago i would've said minghao (and he's still up there bc he's such a comfortable pov for me to write) but right now i think it's wonwoo. the repression makes him such a good pov character
favourite title: THE BRIDGES WE BURNED IN YOUTHFUL SLEEP. hands down!!! this isn't even from anywhere it's actually the title of a poem i wrote last year (about a guy i was really into and then we just sort of mutually drifted apart bc both our lives got too busy. rip. but the poem was titled like that because once we went out cycling really late at night and i had a Young And Alive moment.) but what i really like about it is that it ended up surprisingly relevant to the fic as well....jww burning his bridge to yjh by creating kmg (in sleep! hehe.) besides that i also like let my love remain bc it's from the chinese version of home (留下来我的爱 which i loosely translated to let my love remain.)
favourite line(s):
SUPERLATIVES
longest fic: let my love remain (7.2k). that took so much out of me. if there's one thing this year has taught me it's that i am Not a longfic writer.
shortest fic: all i'm asking for (1.3k). short because i wrote it in like 2 hours in the dead of night. i don't think it's very good but i was trying to stick to the secret santa prompt (fluff) which i am AWFUL at...okay yeah i do need to get better at portraying like. happy content rships.
hardest fic to write: let my love remain bc there was SO much projection. i physically cannot reread it without cringing a little because the self-projection is so blatant to me....like obviously that was my intention (to have it feel personal by writing my own diasporic feelings into it) but at the time i was seriously immersing myself in minghao's mindset (which was like....distant/closed-off/miserable etc) and mining my own thoughts and i drew on sm of my own feelings that it was so exhausting to write about it. and rereading it is like wow there really is a LOT of me in this. i wrote it out of order so when i finished it by completing the earlier sections where he withdraws i was practically dragging my near-unconscious body to the finish line.
most fun fic to write: UNQUESTIONABLY lights out. i had so much fun writing that fic LOL bc 1) i've been into f1 for so long so the entire time i was writing it i was sneaking in little references to irl events and giggling to myself the whole time. just pure delightful self-indulgence 2) i set it where i live so i didn't have to do any research i just happily chucked in descriptions from memory. 2nd most fun was take what we love inside bc i did so much research on jeju for it and then i ended up dreaming about a jeju vacation for like a week straight. and bronze goes to come and go bc that was a blast to just screw around with.....i'd always wanted to write a screenplay-style fic
BIGGEST SURPRISE WHILE WRITING
ok this is kind of a cop out answer but. i've been writing fic for years but i only started publishing this year, which is crazy bc it feels like forever ago...and what surprised me the most is how direct the reception is (??) like. twt interactions....ao3 comments....like before this year i was just keeping them in my gdocs and sharing them with irls here and there but this year i was so warmed by how lovely it is to put ideas out in the world and enjoy them together with others and hear other people's thoughts. it's the concept of community <3
FAVOURITE COMMENT RECEIVED
let my love remain
someone commented on let my love remain that it made them feel so seen & heard and that also really meant a lot to me. whenever i receive a comment i'm always so :") bc like i said above it's insane that these are people who are sharing their thoughts on my writing! that's actually crazy. i'm always so grateful
FAVOURITE FICS READ THIS YEAR
ok i got into svt in like april so i just read a solid 80% of the tag and was so blown away but here are some favourites (i'm including some even if they were published way back then bc i only read them this year!)
once again, love by hwarium
reaching for you from the endless dream by pyrophane
memento mori by heartcondition
take the heart, leave the bone by radicchio
ALWAYS & ALWAYS by tonyang (kurusui)
tides by miuyi (rainiest)
show me yours by radicchio
give me a tempest by Klavier
synodic, sidereal by junos
circles by miuyi (rainiest)
mirror test by sunburst
Psychopomp by sunburst
OBSESSION by tonyang (kurusui)
bluelove by Klavier
now you have to let me go (four dreams in a row) by notspring
yeah.....i read so many good fics this year. sometimes fic is like. so ridiculously good
2021 THOUGHTS
i think the funniest thing about this year in review is that looking at the fics it's like. i was neck deep in nct and had a 20k doc for fic ideas and then april/may hit and school got really overwhelming and i couldn't keep up w nct ficdom so i dropped off twt entirely and meanwhile got into svt in my own time and time (yt compilations, ao3 fics etc.) then i popped onto svt twt in june and here i am. i think in retrospect it might have been because nct ficdom felt like it was going at a breakneck speed constantly as compared to writing svt— with svt ficdom i always felt like i had enough time to work on and write things that meant something to me (i.e let my love remain being about the Chinese K-pop Idol Experience.)
and a side effect of this is that i managed to get rid of my fixation on stats....like during nct i remember i was really fixated on how my fics were doing numbers-wise but when i started writing svt i realised it literally does not matter how much attention the fic gets as long as someone was moved by it. like a comment from one person who tells me how a line in the fic made them feel means so much to me bc it's like....if a single person feels something then i've already done what i wanted to do, which is share my emotions with others thru fic. and this year i also received comments from people whose writing i really admire so that was like. :")
re: nct obviously i'm very detached from them now so when i look back at the fics i wrote in the first quarter of this year it feels kind of two-dimensional and doesn't really reflect what i know i'm capable of writing. but that doesn't mean i dislike them! i think they have their own charm and they reflect what kind of writer i was at that point in time. also i think i could've written more in oct/nov/dec had i not been absolutely swamped with life/school/exams etc...but what's done is done.
2022 GOALS
learn dw formatting so i can organise my posts in a visually pleasing way!!! ok i'm joking. but also not really. >:( i guess what i want to do in 2022 is commit to ideas instead of letting largely finished fics fester just bc i got stuck on some segments. and also make consistent progress on fest fics bc every single fic i did for a fest this year was rushed and completed pretty much on the day itself. i have a horrible habit of procrastination and i will have to fix that! i also want to write a 1st/2nd person pov fic — 1st person will be a little tricky but i think it'll be fun. AND i want to write ggfic! i have dipped my toes into a few ggs but i want to be into a gg deep enough that i can write them w all the depth they deserve... partly as penance bc when i was younger i was like omg ew gg members have no personality bc i BOUGHT INTO the stupid way they're marketed to outsiders to kpop. but coming back to kpop when i was a little older i was like oh my god it's just insane how much potential ggfic has...yeah. i think the strongest contenders rn are itzy or stayc! oh and that reminds me— i want to try writing tinhet fic. tinhatting in general is fun(rn....isa/ryujin :])
and last & most importantly: be proud of (or at least happy with) everything i publish! i want everything i post in 2022 to mean something to me in some way or another, and not post things just for the sake of posting.
there've been a few ups and downs but i think i got to where i wanted to be in the end; it's been a pretty neat year! thanks for coming along with me, have a lovely last few days of 2021 everyone :")
He could say anything. He could say nothing at all, and Junhui would only have to be there. Junhui would only have to listen, and he’s had a decade worth of experience. Minghao is a song he knows by heart. Minghao is a song he knows well enough to hum the notes the music refuses to give. Still, there’s something to be said about following the whole way through, about speaking the words when they’ll be heard regardless.
This was one thing Jeonghan did extraordinarily well: he made it so remarkably easy for you to want to share things with him, whether it was out of the desire to keep his attention or the fear that he might slip out of your grasp otherwise. The gravitational pull of it was so strong that he only realised much later on that Jeonghan, in return, had never really told him anything at all. / But back then Wonwoo had only wanted, like everyone else, to be known. It was the allure of being known by someone that everyone else was so desperate to understand, as if volunteering his secrets would encourage Jeonghan to reveal his own, as if by offering himself up Jeonghan would be obligated to bare his own heart in return. A predator emerging at the prolonged display of vulnerability. Friendship didn’t work like that, Wonwoo thought. But maybe love did.
There were two kinds of people who were easy to love: the first because they gave you so much, the second because they gave you so little. He was staring at both of them now.
“It’s not my fault he wants me more, you know,” Mingyu said, and even with his gaze trained on the road ahead Wonwoo could hear the petulance in his voice, the sharp little blade of hurt.
The string of short-lived teammates that tried to fill the second Red Bull seat in Seokmin’s absence never quite lived up to his performance on track either, never quite replicated that white-hot current of adrenaline that surged in Mingyu’s chest whenever Seokmin overtook him brilliantly down the inside of the corner at two hundred kilometres per hour.
The clearest thing that comes to mind: Seokmin leaning forward, slow, his expression sweet with intention. Golden light falling across his face in slants.
SUPERLATIVES
longest fic: let my love remain (7.2k). that took so much out of me. if there's one thing this year has taught me it's that i am Not a longfic writer.
shortest fic: all i'm asking for (1.3k). short because i wrote it in like 2 hours in the dead of night. i don't think it's very good but i was trying to stick to the secret santa prompt (fluff) which i am AWFUL at...okay yeah i do need to get better at portraying like. happy content rships.
hardest fic to write: let my love remain bc there was SO much projection. i physically cannot reread it without cringing a little because the self-projection is so blatant to me....like obviously that was my intention (to have it feel personal by writing my own diasporic feelings into it) but at the time i was seriously immersing myself in minghao's mindset (which was like....distant/closed-off/miserable etc) and mining my own thoughts and i drew on sm of my own feelings that it was so exhausting to write about it. and rereading it is like wow there really is a LOT of me in this. i wrote it out of order so when i finished it by completing the earlier sections where he withdraws i was practically dragging my near-unconscious body to the finish line.
most fun fic to write: UNQUESTIONABLY lights out. i had so much fun writing that fic LOL bc 1) i've been into f1 for so long so the entire time i was writing it i was sneaking in little references to irl events and giggling to myself the whole time. just pure delightful self-indulgence 2) i set it where i live so i didn't have to do any research i just happily chucked in descriptions from memory. 2nd most fun was take what we love inside bc i did so much research on jeju for it and then i ended up dreaming about a jeju vacation for like a week straight. and bronze goes to come and go bc that was a blast to just screw around with.....i'd always wanted to write a screenplay-style fic
BIGGEST SURPRISE WHILE WRITING
ok this is kind of a cop out answer but. i've been writing fic for years but i only started publishing this year, which is crazy bc it feels like forever ago...and what surprised me the most is how direct the reception is (??) like. twt interactions....ao3 comments....like before this year i was just keeping them in my gdocs and sharing them with irls here and there but this year i was so warmed by how lovely it is to put ideas out in the world and enjoy them together with others and hear other people's thoughts. it's the concept of community <3
FAVOURITE COMMENT RECEIVED
let my love remain
This is vulnerable and tender and so full of love, for Minghao and Junhui and Seventeen as a whole.
THE BRIDGES WE BURNED IN YOUTHFUL SLEEP
man... this whole piece is such a SHARP characterization of wonwoo, of the treachery of desire and vulnerability yet the compulsive yearning for it, for something deeper.
someone commented on let my love remain that it made them feel so seen & heard and that also really meant a lot to me. whenever i receive a comment i'm always so :") bc like i said above it's insane that these are people who are sharing their thoughts on my writing! that's actually crazy. i'm always so grateful
FAVOURITE FICS READ THIS YEAR
ok i got into svt in like april so i just read a solid 80% of the tag and was so blown away but here are some favourites (i'm including some even if they were published way back then bc i only read them this year!)
once again, love by hwarium
reaching for you from the endless dream by pyrophane
memento mori by heartcondition
take the heart, leave the bone by radicchio
ALWAYS & ALWAYS by tonyang (kurusui)
tides by miuyi (rainiest)
show me yours by radicchio
give me a tempest by Klavier
synodic, sidereal by junos
circles by miuyi (rainiest)
mirror test by sunburst
Psychopomp by sunburst
OBSESSION by tonyang (kurusui)
bluelove by Klavier
now you have to let me go (four dreams in a row) by notspring
yeah.....i read so many good fics this year. sometimes fic is like. so ridiculously good
2021 THOUGHTS
i think the funniest thing about this year in review is that looking at the fics it's like. i was neck deep in nct and had a 20k doc for fic ideas and then april/may hit and school got really overwhelming and i couldn't keep up w nct ficdom so i dropped off twt entirely and meanwhile got into svt in my own time and time (yt compilations, ao3 fics etc.) then i popped onto svt twt in june and here i am. i think in retrospect it might have been because nct ficdom felt like it was going at a breakneck speed constantly as compared to writing svt— with svt ficdom i always felt like i had enough time to work on and write things that meant something to me (i.e let my love remain being about the Chinese K-pop Idol Experience.)
and a side effect of this is that i managed to get rid of my fixation on stats....like during nct i remember i was really fixated on how my fics were doing numbers-wise but when i started writing svt i realised it literally does not matter how much attention the fic gets as long as someone was moved by it. like a comment from one person who tells me how a line in the fic made them feel means so much to me bc it's like....if a single person feels something then i've already done what i wanted to do, which is share my emotions with others thru fic. and this year i also received comments from people whose writing i really admire so that was like. :")
re: nct obviously i'm very detached from them now so when i look back at the fics i wrote in the first quarter of this year it feels kind of two-dimensional and doesn't really reflect what i know i'm capable of writing. but that doesn't mean i dislike them! i think they have their own charm and they reflect what kind of writer i was at that point in time. also i think i could've written more in oct/nov/dec had i not been absolutely swamped with life/school/exams etc...but what's done is done.
2022 GOALS
learn dw formatting so i can organise my posts in a visually pleasing way!!! ok i'm joking. but also not really. >:( i guess what i want to do in 2022 is commit to ideas instead of letting largely finished fics fester just bc i got stuck on some segments. and also make consistent progress on fest fics bc every single fic i did for a fest this year was rushed and completed pretty much on the day itself. i have a horrible habit of procrastination and i will have to fix that! i also want to write a 1st/2nd person pov fic — 1st person will be a little tricky but i think it'll be fun. AND i want to write ggfic! i have dipped my toes into a few ggs but i want to be into a gg deep enough that i can write them w all the depth they deserve... partly as penance bc when i was younger i was like omg ew gg members have no personality bc i BOUGHT INTO the stupid way they're marketed to outsiders to kpop. but coming back to kpop when i was a little older i was like oh my god it's just insane how much potential ggfic has...yeah. i think the strongest contenders rn are itzy or stayc! oh and that reminds me— i want to try writing tinhet fic. tinhatting in general is fun(rn....isa/ryujin :])
and last & most importantly: be proud of (or at least happy with) everything i publish! i want everything i post in 2022 to mean something to me in some way or another, and not post things just for the sake of posting.
there've been a few ups and downs but i think i got to where i wanted to be in the end; it's been a pretty neat year! thanks for coming along with me, have a lovely last few days of 2021 everyone :")
no subject
your taste is also so good LOL flattered that my name is up there with some greats... also amazing that even though you just got into svt you found so many oldies/goodies. also even more amazing that you just started publishing fic this year because you're so good seriously!! looking forward to what you come up with in 2022!
re: formatting i think all of kpop dw learned from this post so it is def worth a skim/bookmark!!